Love is a Decision

Will here.

I asked Clare's parents for her hand in marriage at 6:00 pm in a little Greek place called Wraps. I brought a sunflower for Mrs. Gray-Lewis, a stuffed horse for Mr. Gray-Lewis (in reference to a really old laugh we'd shared in Vicksburg), and, naturally, a stomach full of butterflies.

The whole dinner was a blur. I can only recall little bits of what was said and what was eaten (I know I had a tilapia gyro - delicious).

One bit of wisdom that stands prominent in my mind was the advice, "Love is a decision." It starts as a feeling, as a hunch, as a little itch in the back of your mind. But, once it's been explored, once it's grown into something more than a hunch, once it's been put to the test by life's baubles - well, that's when it becomes more than a feeling. It becomes a decision. The decision to love and to love continuously is the biggest one that I have made so far, and it is a hard one to keep in mind at times. There are times when I'll think, Clare, you're really bugging me right now, and I don't really like you right now, but I do love you. I love you because I've decided to love you. It's as simple as that. I can rest easy in the decision because I know it's the right one. I know that after the tension of a moment or the frustration of a tough week has passed, Clare and I will still be together, loving each other just as strongly as before, probably stronger due to the testing of that love.

Love is a decision. I've made my decision to love. When Clare and I make it official here in a few days, then we will both have made that decision permanent. As if it could be any other way.